Guest blogger: my dear friend MaDiha
MaDiha is another friend who came into my life through my writing (thank you Gayle!). It’s a friendship that didn’t take years to blossom; we’ve only met a few times, but she’s an important presence in my life, a loyal friend, someone I can count on. She amazes me with how much she juggles. One afternoon she stopped by to see how I was doing. That morning had been her last day of work at a stressful job. With a million things vying for her attention, and every reason to take the afternoon off, she braved traffic to trek to Potomac to hold my hand — with homemade gulab jamuns. Yes, I’m blessed.
“As a daughter to my aging parents, sister to my only brother, wife and friend to my husband, mother to 3 children (ages 4 and under), and a full-time working professional, I am always completely and utterly guilt ridden. I am guilty of not spending enough time with my parents (even if it’s over the phone), not making an effort to stay in continuous touch with my brother and his family, not having enough time to nurture my relationship with my husband, not making the effort to be patient with my children – the list really does go on. The guilt is worse when on some days, I come home, and turn into a “yeller”. It’s so hard to acknowledge this, but it’s 100% true. And that is the worst type of guilt, because I know I have control over myself! In every instance, I end up feeling horrible.
In the pursuit of perfection, I am often left with the realization that I got nothing right; if anything, I end up feeling that I failed on all accounts. I must admit, I have been having more of those days recently. In part, it is because I am tired from my commute. Or exhausted from work, where interacting with a myriad of personalities is sometimes enough to make me lose my cool. But at the end of the day, my profession and my career are not my entire life. A wise colleague of mine recently told me that I must remind myself of what’s truly important. Of what’s my “legacy”. And thanks to him, I know that my legacy is my family. I will be replaced at work. Easily. But I will always hold my place as daughter, sister, wife, mother, and even friend.
So on days when my family (hubby and kids, I’m talking about you) want my time, my affection, my attention, and I feel frustrated and/or exhausted, ya Allah, please grant me the patience to recognize that even though I may be tired, these moments are irreversible, and that they deserve my full attention, that they come first, and that it’s not their fault that I have bad days at work. And as I pray for patience, I also ask Allah to grant me the persistence to continue to self reflect, and recognize the consequences of losing my patience with loved ones. Because I know better. And I know if I make the effort to be more patient, with Allah’s help, I will be successful.”
Day 25, Dua 25: Patience and persistence